Thursday, October 30, 2008

Pumpkin "cutie" pie

Maggie had a Harvest fest at school today. I couldn't go because little brothers and sisters weren't allowed to attend, so Steven went and took some pictures. She had such a good time. She was Ariel and they had games and candy outside of the school. Then, they went to the nursing home nearby and sang songs to the elderly residents. When she got home, she told me that she recognized one of the grandmas. She said that it was a grandma from our church. I think she saw Evelyn. Maggie said that they hugged and were happy to see each other. Very sweet.

Here's some more pictures.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

warning: vent

I"ve heard that adoptive parents can go through the stages of grief with their new children. Well, today I am in the stage of anger. I am really mad at their bio mother. I can't believe that she did this to two children. I know that we all make mistakes and she has problems of her own, but she really should have thought about this before she decided to have children.

J is having real issues. And I am mad. Our family has to deal with it. I know that this is a bad attitude to have, but that's how I am feeling today. She has to be constantly monitored. She can't let anyone in and she can't truly trust us. Granted it has only been 3 weeks that she has been here, but her brother who was in a loving foster home his whole life is not having the issues that she has.

It's just hard to deal with her issues and know that they are not really her fault. It's because of the selfish actions of an adult.

Things in general are getting better. But, we find that as soon as she lets us get close or feels to vulnerable, the next day is awful.

Even today after I worked, I came home determined to show her love. I paid attention to her but as soon as I got distracted, it started all over again. Time in followed by time in followed by time out within 15 minutes. It's so frustrating. She has to follow me around the house because if I leave her alone, chaos ensues!

So, keep praying for us. I need to forgive her bio mom. She told J at the last visit that I wasn't her real mom and that she shouldn't call me mommy. I don't care that she calls me mommy,but she doesn't realize what that does to J. J is so confused already and now her bio mom is adding more to the issues. She hears the other kids calling me mommy so it's natural for her to call me that, too. I tried "mommy beth" but she quickly changed that. She doesn't care about what's easiest for her daughter, she is only worried about her feelings.


Thursday, October 23, 2008

You say it's your's my birthday too.

Today, I am 31.

Let's talk about 31 things that are blessings to me!

1. Laura sent me 2 ticket codes to HSM3. I guess it's a blessing. At least Maggie thinks it's a blessing.

2. Steven is a great husband. I love him even when he when he annoys the crap out of me.

3. Maggie Moo is a wonderful daughter. She is so sweet. We sat outside tonight and looked at the stars. Then, we pretended like we were on an airplane ride and she was the pilot. She is so fun and sweet.

4. J had a great day today. She is very sweet and is really trying to let us in and love her.

5. R is a total sweetheart. He is snuggly and sweet. He will wave and smile at anyone who looks at him while we are out.

6. Willie. I love that dog. He is so funny and gentle with the kids.

7. Maybe this was a bad idea. I'm bored with this list.

8. Oh wait, my mom. I like her, too. She is like awesome and stuff.

9. Scrapbooking is fun, too.

10. Okay, does anyone really want to read this? I'd better go.Steven needs to take me to breakfast in the morning...hint, hint.


In case you are wondering what I am counting down to it's...............

Delta Zeta Founder's Day tomorrow. That's right (thanks for the reminder, Laura), tomorrow is the birthday of Delta Zeta's founder. October 24th is a day of pink and green!

In other news, Maggie and Steven were playing with kitten in my pockets this morning. This was the conversation that I heard.

Maggie: Hi Kitty, what do you want to eat? Spaghetti?
Steven: No, kitties don't eat spaghetti. We like field mice.
Maggie: Oh, I got field mice spaghetti cat food.
Steven: Where did you find that?
Maggie: I got it online. That's where I bought it.

(Oh and imagine that this is all spoken in high "kitty" voices!)

Wednesday, October 22, 2008


nothing to say. Just wanted to keep up on the countdown.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008


I'm being a good Christian mama tonight and plopped all 3 of them on the floor of the living room in front of Daniel in the Lion's den (veggie tales version). This was after dinner and a baths.

R woke up this morning and Steven said it looked like an alien landed on his head. He had so much green stuff coming out of every place in his head. He had the worst case of pink eye that I have ever seen. It was horrible.

I started calling numbers and finally got in touch with the doctor's office and made an appt. I called and cancelled the babysitter for today.

Loaded up the kids and headed to the doctor's office. It was a different doctor. I love her. She listened to me and thanked me for fostering. She said that it was important for me to pray. It was awesome. Got some medicine for R.

Headed home and attended to sick, whiny kids all day.

Steven's at a meeting and I bathed and fed the kids. I turned in Veggie Tales for them. They are relaxing and singing with Bob and Larry.

It was a good day, but I am really tired. I think I am getting sick. But, if I got sick, it would be all of us for Steven to take care of. And I don't wanna be sick on my birthday.

Monday, October 20, 2008


I love October. Steven teases me that I look at the whole month of October like it's my birthmonth not just Oct. the 24th being my birthday. But, I just love looking forward to and anticipating the 24th!

It's only 4 more days til my birthday and my life has been so crazy that I haven't even really counted down that much. I usually have countdowns and I'm dreaming up something fun to do on the big day. This year, life has been a bit wild.

In other exciting news, R has learned 5 new words since he got here. He says:

Mickey (the cat)
Gaggie (Maggie)
and drum roll.............MeMe (Mommy)

He has started eating with a spoon and eats real food now. He was only eating applesauce and rice cereal when he came here. Amazing what 2 weeks will do!

We think he said "hot dog" and "daddy" tonight, too. He loves the hot dog song from Mickey Mouse clubhouse. Maggie turns it on and he starts dancing and stomping her foot in time to the music. It turns in to a big dance party! So, after every meal, he runs to the computer and screams something that sounds like "hot dog" at the computer.

With J, we have started doing "time in" instead of "time outs". Since she has bonding issues, we have been trying to hold her when she needs to be disciplined instead of sending her to her room. It seems to really work. My hip is getting pretty strong from holding her so much. She wants to be around us more and is doing much better. Every day is a little better.

In other family news, I am kind of sad to report that Maggie's imaginary friends are on a vacation. I haven't heard from Johnny, Logan and Sleeping Beauter in a couple of weeks. I asked about them and Maggie reported that they are in Ok-a-homa visiting Johnny's parents. I am actually a little sad about this. I miss them and their adventures.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

This is so funny!


Maggie has 2 ear infections. It just keeps getting better!

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Our crazy house

* R is teething. He didn't sleep last night unless I was holding him.

* Maggie's ear is hurting now. What is going on?!

* Steven came home tonight. I am so happy.

* My birthday is in 6 days. Guess what I get to do on my birthday? That's right, go to WIC. How exciting.

* It rained today for about a minute. It made me happy.

* J and Maggie played happily in her room for about 30 minutes without getting mad at each other. They played restaurant and hairdresser. I was the audience for the fashion show.

Friday, October 17, 2008

It's almost funny!

Maggie came home from school with pink eye. yipp-freaking-ee!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

what a day

7 a.m. I took J on a breakfast date. I have a hard time connecting to her so I thought it would be fun to do something by ourselves. It was so nice. We colored and read books and ate waffles together. I think she hugged me 10 times at least. It was so nice.

8a.m. We came home before Maggie left for preschool. Within 2.5 (gotcha, Laura) seconds, she picked a fight with Maggie. And was teasing Maggie about how she got to go to breakfast by herself with me. Thankfully, Maggie was about to go to school. shew.

9a.m. The kids played nicely together while I folded 7 (really) loads of laundry that I have been putting off. While I bemoaned the fact that I have to sort thru 5 different people's socks, I told Steven that I think a lot of her issues are from competing with Maggie over stuff. About 2.5 seconds later (again, Laura), she picked a fight with R over a toy.

10 a.m. Went to Wal*Mart to get a few things that I wrote on my hand so I wouldn't forget them. Guess what? I got everything but those things. D'OH! I did find 3 matching pairs of Halloween crocs for the kids. So stinking cute.

10:30 a.m. On the way home, I called my mom. J heard her voice on my bluetooth that is a speaker phone and shouted "memaw"! I melted a little. She loves to talk to Memaw on the phone. She told Memaw that she wants a pink birthday party and for Memaw to make the cake for her.

11 a.m. Realizing that something is wrong with R. On Monday, he got shots. On Tuesday, he had a fever and a snotty nose. Today, he was super clingy. Even for R. What was going on? Almost had him to sleep and realized that I had to schlep across the street to pick up Maggie. Steven called at that moment and offered to go get Maggie before I asked. Yay, steven!

11:30 a.m. Realized that R is cutting molars.yay. The only way he will stop crying is if I am holding him. Not Steven. Only me. Yay.

12 p.m. Feed the kids and Maggie goes to play in her room for a little while. Steven offers to work from home during nap time so I can go back to the store. Get the kids to sleep very easily.

1 p.m. Maggie and I head to Target. To mix it up a little. She begs for some more pink reading glasses and a bible verse book. She quoted "to everything there is a season under heaven" and sings this little song about what God made during creation. How could I resist?

2 p.m. (are you still with me?) Nothing much until around 5 p.m. Steven leaves for Jesse's bachelor party.

Oh wait, my mom called. Not bad news, but not great news on my stepdad.

5 p.m. Check my email. Kids have a different social worker than our SW. Kids' SW writes me an email that I have to take the kids to another visitation next week in addition to the one that I am already going on with another family member. So, 2 visitations next week. Yipp-freaking-ee. This also makes me realize that the chances that the kids will be without forever is slim. I mean, we knew it, but now it looks more and more likely that they will go somewhere else. Ugh. I lost it. They drive me insance, but I don't want them to leave our family.

7p.m. Kids all go to sleep. 30 minutes later, R cries. He doesn't cry usually if he is asleep. As I am walking to his room, the smell of poop hits me. He is about to explode. I change his diaper and get him back to sleep on me. Then, he goes back to sleep. Maybe it's the fever or the teeth or something.

Every 15 minutes, J starts whimpering again. She is just crying in her sleep. I can't figure out what is going on unless it's because Steven didn't put her to sleep. She doesn't sleep well if I put her to bed.

Lovely. Now, I am mindlessly surfing the web and snuggling with Maggie.

Just like "real" sisters

2 nights ago, I was putting Maggie to sleep. We were talking and I asked her what she liked about J. She said, "ummmm.........(long pause). I like it when she goes to bed at night."

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

What's that?

What's that you say? You are desperately searching for something for my birthday? And it's only 10 days away. Well, hope is on the way!

My Wish List

Monday, October 13, 2008


I admit that this was a harder blog to write. I had to think about this one for a while.

J is tough girl. She has a hard time letting people in. We started researching attachment issues. She doesn't have all of them. Some of these are found in lots of 2 year olds, but we see them in her.

The hardest part of the last few days has been the CONSTANT fighting with her and Maggie. It was horrible. They couldn't look at each other without fighting. Some of this is my issue. I didn't fight with my brother like other siblings. We were 5 years apart. We didn't fight over things. So, this bickering drives me crazy.

I have been praying a lot and especially in the morning before we start the day.

This morning, things were so good. The girls played together so nicely. They had a pillow fight and had a great time together. Then, we went to the doctor's office and they held hands. Maggie told J that she wants to buy her a present to welcome her to our family. J told Maggie that she was her best friend. It was so nice to hear.

I know that things won't stay this way, but at least there is some "like" there. Even if they fight again, there is some relationship forming there.

Then we went to the doctor. On the way there, she asked me if she was getting shots. I didn't think that she was, so I told her no. Guess what? She had a flu shot today. i felt so guilty.

She cried and cried. She begged Maggie to hug her for a while. Then, we came home and she tried to take a nap but just kept crying. I held her and rocked her for a while. This is a big deal. She doesn't let me rock or hold her close. She was not in a great mood after this though. I think she was hurting and very defiant.

So, tonight, Steven put her to bed. An hour after she went to bed, she was whimpering/crying in her sleep. I went in there to check on her. She was still kind of asleep. I held her hand and gave her some water. Then, I started crying. She drives me crazy sometimes. She is so difficult. Then, I remember that she is a toddler. She is a toddler who has been in 4 different homes so far. I started wondering if she had ever been comforted in her sleep before. She is used to crying to herself and no one coming. It made me so sad to think of her crying and knowing that no one was coming for her. I have to keep trying with her. I have to break through with her.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Our little boy

Our little guy is such a sweetie. And such a ladies man. He has dark eyes and dark eyelashes and at church today, he was blinking his eyes and staring at Carla and Tiffany.

When Maggie was a baby, I longed for a snuggle bug. You know one of those babies that would sit in your lap ad like to be snuggled? She was so wiggly. Well, I got my wish in this little guy. He loves to snuggle. This morning at coffee time, he snuggled up against me and was about to go to sleep. I was afraid for him to go to sleep because I was in the nursery this morning and if he falls asleep on someone and is put down in a crib, he will wake up and not be a happy guy which would be hard in the nursery. So, I asked Carla to hold him. She held him all during the service and he just slept and snuggled against her. Thanks, Carla!

He was wearing a cute little blue button down shirt and little brown boots today. He is so stinking cute. He has these cute curls in the back of his hair, too. I think I am in love.

He's very popular in our house, too. Steven loves his little man and they watched football together yesterday. Steven likes that he is so tough. He bangs into stuff and doesn't ever cry.

Maggie loves him and gets to baby him a little, which makes her happy. He is very even tempered. His only response to questions is "yeah", so Maggie asks him if he likes Hannah Montana. Then, he will say "yeah". Maggie thinks this is hilarious.

J is warming up to him too. I didn't notice much interaction between them before. Now, they plays and run and chase after each other. He lights up when she comes in the room. It's very sweet.

So, here's to our little boy. Don't worry, there will be more on J to follow.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

3 is more than 1

Whoa. Who knew my life would be so busy? We have recently taken in 2 foster children. They are both under 3 years old. I won't be posting their pictures on my blog for safety reasons, but believe me....they are cute. If you know me, send me an email and I can forward you some pics.

MOPS has come to the rescue again and is bringing meals to us this week. It's such a relief to not have to worry about what to have for dinner.

We went to the pumpkin patch today and had a blast. I was a little scattered though following 3 kids around in 3 different directions.

I'd better go. They are out of eyesight...makes me nervous.

Friday, October 3, 2008

The spa?

My feet are so dry and cracked. I think it's because it is so dry here and I don't drink enough water. Maggie's feet are dry and starting to hurt her. I told her that I would help her out.

I pretended to be a pedicure lady and scrubbed her feet with a loofa and soap. Then, I dried them and put lots of lotion and a pair of my socks on her feet. She was asking me about why I put socks on her.

I told her that it was like she was the spa. She asked me what a spa was, so I told her that it was a place where they rub your back and your face and paint your nails and feed you chocolate.

"WHAT?!". She was shocked.

"Mama, can I start saving my pennies to go there right now?!".