Willie

We made the decision to euthanize Willie on Friday. He had a horrible night on Thursday where he couldn't breathe. I realized that it was like he was suffocating and it just wasn't fair for us to let him hurt.

It was a horrible decision to have to make. I had seen it performed many times when I worked in a vet's office in high school. I knew what to expect. But, it's different when it's your dog.

I put Willie up on our bed on Friday during the day and I fed him his favorite foods. I didn't know what to do about Maggie. We decided not to let her go. When we told her, she begged us to let her come and we decided that it was okay. I don't know that it was the best decision, but I just don't know if there is best decision in a situation like this. We just tried to do what we felt was right with this.

I dreaded his appointment all day long. I felt such anxiety. I mean, I really felt like it was the right thing to do, but it was such a bad thing to have to decide.

We took him to the vet and we were there when he died. Maggie and I talked about our favorite memories of him when he took his last breaths. We wrapped him in a large blanket and took him home.

Steven put him under the tree in our backyard. We said a prayer and Maggie came up with the idea to make him a special stepping stone.

I miss him terribly. It's hard to deal with just him being gone and forgetting that he's not here anymore.

I went to bed last night and was sad that he wasn't following me to bed. For ten years, Willie's followed me to bed and snuck onto the bed somewhere in the middle of the night. I was feeling sad as I crawled into bed.

Then, Mickey (who never wants to be inside at night) jumped on my chest. He laid down next to me and stayed there all night. It was comforting to have him there.