There is no way to get all of my thoughts on this into one blog. So, I'll just start here and maybe be brave enough to hit the publish post button. Why is my heart beating so fast? Oh yeah, cause I hate controversy.
I can think of no other job where a husband's job determines so much about a wife.
I'm married to a man who is a pastor. I love him. I love that he is doing what he loves. I love that he is a pastor. But, I would love him if he wasn't pastoring.
I don't like that his job defines me.
This has nothing to do with the people at our church right now. They are wonderful and like me for me.
I remember when Steven was interviewing for this job. He asked me what other questions he should ask them. I immediately said, "what expectations do they have for the pastor's wife?"
So, during the interviewing process, Steven asked this question to the group and I remember Daniel answering. He said, "we want her to be an active member of our church. We don't have any other expectations of her."
And I breathed a sigh of relief.
Fortunately, this has been true. I mean, there have been some funny moments where people ask me about playing the piano, but that's for another blog.
I guess I find it frustrating when I meet people for the first time and they find out that I'm a "pastor's wife" and they apologize for cussing earlier. I don't tell people what Steven does for a living. I don't volunteer that information. I hate it when they start acting different around me. Or making a big deal about his job.
I don't make a big deal out of what their husband does for a living. I know that it's really just their insecurities coming out, but it's always awkward. And it makes me feel uncomfortable.
So, that's all I have for right now. I mean, there's more to this subject. I just want to be given more than just the "pastor's wife" title. There's more to me than that.