Thursday, June 25, 2009

Remembering to praise Him

You know that song that says, Still I will worship you.
It says:
I will worship You, in the midnight hour
I will worship You, when I'm in the fire
I will worship You, when all hope seems gone
I will stand and proclaim that You are my God
I will worship You.

We started out our vacation on a high. I found out that I was pregnant. After all of the ups and downs of the last year with our foster children, maybe this was an answer to prayer.

We ended our trip in the E.R. I lost the baby at almost 7 weeks along. I am in a lot of pain but we had to come home the next day and it is nice to be able to recover in my house and not in a hotel room.

Though we are very upset about this, I have to keep going. Maggie can't see me breaking down all day long. We have to eat, so we went to get groceries.

On the way home, we were listening to a worship cd and "indescribable" came on. I had in on kind of loud and didn't realize that Maggie was paying attention to the music. Then, I hear the cutest little voice from the backseat singing it word for word. It made me so happy.

I told her that I loved hearing her sing and she said "i sing because I believe in God and I believe in His word."

I do a lot of things wrong and I wallow in my self doubt a lot, but we are trying so hard to raise her to be a godly woman. I have to remember to count my blessings and not dwell on our sadness.


Jay said...

Beth -
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I cannot imagine what you are going through, but your faith in God and especially your efforts with your daughter Maggie are are so admirable. Life is not easy for me right now, but your faith is an inspiration to me.

May this tragedy bring you closer to him and may another little miracle be forthcoming soon.

Sarah said...

Oh, Beth. I wish I could wrap my arms around you. I've been there a few times and it's devestating. Be gentle with yourself. Know that we love you and are praying for you. And you are an incredible mother!

jenjen said...

I'm so, so, sorry. Praying for you and sending you love.

Anonymous said...

Beth, I'm so sorry. You and your family are in my prayers for comfort and strength from the God of all comfort. Love to you....

jill rosalie said...

oh, Beth, I'm so so sorry. I will be praying for you all.

Walking to China said...

I'm so sorry, too. That is a hard road to walk.

Take heart... said...

Beth (and Steven).. I am so very sorry. Please know that you are in my prayers and that it is ok to be sad and hurt and disappointed, He can handle that.

I am here if you need anything. ANYTHING. You know you can let it out with me. ((hugs)).

Amber said...

Trust God. Trust your body. Peace to you.

Rebekah Sanders said...

Oh Beth, honey, I'm so sorry. I've been there and know how painful it is. Take it one step at a time and take your time as you process it all. We're praying for you!

pwnmom said...


I am so sorry for your loss. I have been there twice and it isn't easy! I am praying for you and Steven and Maggie. I'm praying you get rest and are restored by our loving Father!

Jenny said...

Beth, I know first-hand what you're going through. It's probably not something you'll ever understand. It took a long time for me to accept that it just wasn't meant to be right now.

Grieve as much as you need to and don't keep it to yourself. Although many (especially men) may not understand the immense pain of losing a baby so early in the pregnancy, there are a lot of us who do. Support from those who love you is exactly what you need right now.

You're in my thoughts and prayers.

Judi Rush said...

Hi Beth - I can't imagine the pain and anguish you must be going through right now. But what a blessing you have in Maggie, to keep your heart light when it is heavy with sorry. I will be praying for you all!

Hugs from afar!!!

Ti'el said...

Thinking of you guys over here to Beth. Much love to you, Steven and Maggie



Gina said...

This is very poopy. I'm really sad! But Maggie's right...God is good no matter what. (But still!) Praying for you and love you a lot. :-)

Valerie said...

Thinking about you Beth, you're continually in my thoughts and prayers.