Wednesday, February 3, 2010

I'm in love

I have a confession. When Patrick came home, I didn't immediately fall in love with him. He's adorable and cute and sweet, but I just didn't feel like I was bonding with him. I kept trying to remember how I felt when Maggie first came home. I don't remember instantly bonding with her either. It was such a haze of sleepless nights and crying for the first 4-5 months, I don't remember much.

But, I must admit that with Patrick it felt different. I felt myself holding back with him. We got burned so bad with the last foster kids that were here. What if he was taken away too? Add to that adjusting to new responsibilities and trying to juggle 2 kids and a house and a job. I was stressed. It just felt overwhelming.

In addition to that, he loved Maggie and Steven. Steven did most of the late night shifts with him so he was bonded more to Steven. Patrick loves Maggie so much. He just laughs when she walks in the room. Steven and Maggie were always doing silly stuff to make him laugh and he loved it.

Last weekend, I had to take him to the doctor for his breathing treatments. Then, I was up most of the night with him giving him more treatments. I rocked him on and off all night in the recliner so he could get some sleep. I started to feel more and more connected to him.

He's starting to have some separation anxiety and prefers Steven and me over others now. He used to go happily to anyone, but now he likes to be with us.

It's like it all clicked at once. He wants us and I fell in love at the same time. He's adorable and so sweet.

Guess what his first word was? Ba ba. (bottle)

Guess what his 2nd word was? Mu ma (mama). He says it with a toothless grin as he reaches out for me.

It's the best word in the world.


minivanlife said...

That's great Beth. I can't imagine what it would be like for both you and Patrick. Adjusting to one another (and the fear of someone taking him away) and trusting. Sounds like you guys are well on your way now though!

Bug said...

I do have to disagree with you about one point. The best word in the world is Memaw. Wait until he says that! And, BTW, I fell for him during Christmas break. Especially when he chewed on my chin and when he fell for Nah Nah!

Jesquilly yours,

Word verification definition: Jesquil: Someone named Jessica or Jesse holding a jonquil. (Which, BTW, are getting ready to bloom here.)